1 post tagged “time passing”

You start humming and hawing about your age. When I was 20, I was like:

'How old are you?'

(chipper) 'I'm 20!!!' =D!

Each subsequent year from then, it's more like; "I'm.... 22!"

"Er.... I'm...*cough* 24... >_>"

You will find that the incidence of exclamations decreases, and the length of hesitation increases. You have moments where you're young and you just join the workforce and you're probably the youngest person there. Everyone is older than you. Everyone is an adult, but you. And at least when I joined, the adults pander to you a little....it's the maternal/paternal instinct in them I suppose. And then a few years pass... and a new batch of recruits come up out of nowhere. And suddenly, it's like: "Holy Shiznit! I'm not the youngest person here anymore. That thing about me being the center of the universe? I was... wrong!." and then they breeze in, bounce through life going 'tee hee, I'm 18!' and you're like, 'Gawd, was I ever like that?', and the answer is you were probably more annoying than that.

And suddenly you realize that the first Die Hard movie they've ever seen had Justin Long in it, (which is just wrong), and they don't even know what you're talking about when you say the guy from Family Matters was the cop in the first one!  and you're suddenly aware: time's passing. It's taking me with it, dammit.

My problem is that I still look 20.And people think I am that age, older people and younger people-- and that's fine by me, except that in a professional capacity, in dealing with people there's always the a) the implied notion that you're too young to know what you're talking about, and b) you're an idiot. I have little opportunities to tell them my true age in that capacity so I can't really remedy their thoughts about me, except to act as professional as possible and show no hesitation at all in what I'm saying. Even if I am talking out of my ass.

With someone younger than me however; they blanch and look like they're about to throw up when I tell them my actual age, especially the girls. Boys don't seem to care as much. But women act like they're going to get old person germs just for talking to me. To be fair, not all of them are like this, but enough are that make you feel like: 'What are you talking to us for? You're....old". Which just makes the hesitation stronger when I do tell them my true age; especially since, if I hadn't, their attitude wouldn't have changed.

My worst day for me was when I was talking to one of the new teeny boppers one day-- she was remarking how she liked a certain new guy at work, who was around 20, (she was 18) and that she had a slight crush on him. I said, she was right, he was pretty cute; she said "EW, you can't say that, you could be his mom!" ...

...

I told her, she must have been sick the day in Heath Class, when they explained that women can't have children before puberty, and though women are going through puberty younger and younger, I was definitely unable to have a child at age 5.

That brings me to another point. Had I been a guy, it probably wouldn't have mattered but as a woman, it's somehow gross and creepy. I have dated a guy eleven years older than me before. I've also dated someone four years younger than me, and guess what? I got more shit for dating the younger guy, than I did for dating the guy 11 years my senior. Madness, I tell you. It does bother me a lot. It's like, once you're older than a guy, you're suddenly in mom territory, so don't look or even be attracted to them! You're not allowed! You need to nurture them and press them up to your bosom in a non sexual way! How dare you have impure thoughts! I hate to tell you younguns out there, but just because you get older physically, doesn't mean you get older mentally (well, except in that you forget things and stuff). But the same kind of guys you were attracted to when you're 18, you still like when you're 25-- I mean, I noticed Zac Efron is cute. He doesn't cease to be cute just because he's younger than me. My brain doesn't work like that. Does anyones? If it does, you're kidding yourself. The primal 'must have babies' cortex in your brain (I think that's the technical name), doesn't care how old someone is when you're looking at them. They're just thinking in terms of 'well, our babies would be fit, and tough. They would survive the hell out of all the other babies!'. It's only when you stop and think (and when others make you feel bad about it), that you rationalize and make yourself feel guilty for something I think you personally shouldn't.

Even my best friend thought, and continues to think that a younger guy with an older girl was strange/weird/insane/omgwhatafreak. She thought this while I was dating my last boyfriend, and her biggest complaint regarding her cousin's new girlfriend was 'but-- she's older than him!' Egads. Some people are genuinely in love. I hate how suddenly an entire age group of potential suitors is off limits to you simply because you're older than them.

Yes, I know, I'm very bitter. It's just something that's been bothering me lately. 

Now if someone asks me my age, I'm just going to reply; 'well how old do you think I am?' and provided they don't say '57,' I'll say 'well, that's my age then.'

...... in an unrelated note, I noticed I just got a follower on twitter... one of the followers who had previously added me a few days ago, then removed me, and has now added me again. Alright...